In the Shadows
by Falafal
Summary: [SongFic] Warning:Character death, Experimental Songfic. "Erratum in the Spirit" songfic. Trunks battles over his will and self control.


Title: In the Shadows

Author: Falafal

Pairing: N/A

Rating: PG-13

Warning: AU, Character death, Bits of Angst, Perhaps spoilers for "Erratum in the Spirit" although unsure if the fic will take this path.

Summary: This SongFic is a part of the "Erratum in the Spirit" fiction, which has been at a slight standstill (I apologise). I wrote this because the song inspired me to do so and in order to regain a sense of Trunks character the fiction.

Note: Written with the song 'In the Shadows' by the Rasmus. And has not been Beta'd

Disclaimer: As usual I do not own Dragon Ball Z nor do I own or express the meaning of "The Rasmus" song 'In the Shadows'. You can sue me if you wish but you will probably get a half empty packet of chewing gum, since that's about all I've got at the moment.

I'd absolutely love feedback.

_No sleep_

__

I know I should have left that day.

I could feel it.

Can still feel it.

My life flashing before my eyes.

Snake way was beneath my feet. They say its soothing. That all your troubles leave you. That you can exist with a smile for an eternity….but no. He took me.

No not a he, a demon. Tore my soul from the safety of that peace. Back to a body, a dead body. My body.

And now I can't sleep. I close my eyes, will myself to leave this cold flesh. Nothing happens. Why?

_No sleep until I'm done with finding the answer  
Won't stop_

__

Running my hand over the twin marks on my neck I shiver. The sharp white of my teeth, slice into my lip as they jerk with movement. They are the constant reminder of him. Of what he did. Of what he still does. And he simply laughs at my troubles, at the inhuman strength, which holds my conscience to me. I can see the others joking, making fun of me. Of my pain.

But I can hear them every day.

Their screams.

Every minute they haunt me. It won't end and I won't sleep till I find a way. A way to leave.

_Won't stop before I find the cure for this cancer_

__

A way to leave. 

It seems like a dream. Snake way, King Yemma. Like another lifetime. I've tried to return, so many times but nothing opens the door. This flesh is like a steel cage and the dog which guards me is constantly watching. Tall and dark, he is beside me with every step I take. Watching, pushing, luring. The demon's dog.

He is always watching.

Haunting me like a cancer. He is slowly killing me, what little is left of me. I can feel that anger stored up inside my heart slowly taking over. And he nurtures it. Encouraging me to take that step, like a spell he causes me to drain life. And I watch in the distance as another part of me follows his instructions.

I won't stop fighting. I will break through. For I am Saiyan.

_Sometimes I feel like going down, I'm so disconnected_

__

I know I shouldn't give up. I know I can't give up. If I fight I'll be able to take back control, make up for what I have done. Perhaps even leave this plane. But whenever the demon asks, I answer. I haven't the strength to fight him. My will has been drained, my strength locked up. His spell is forever strengthening with every life I destroy.

I wasn't taught this. Never to kill. I can feel myself falling, my soul is trying to run, give up. My conscience doesn't want to watch, doesn't want to know. And I don't know how to gather myself to fight.

_Somehow I know that I am haunted to be wanted_

__

Each time I follow him, each I follow my unnatural urges to take another life, I feel my soul pull away. My consciousness hides each time my cold flesh acts unlike it never has before. And I know this is what he wants, what the demon wants. He wants me to rid myself of the morals that are tearing at my heart, the morals which saved that little girl.

Oh how her sweet tears still echo through my mind.

And through it all I could hear his voice yelling at me, instructing me to take her life. But I couldn't. No matter how much the demon's dog snarled. That vision of that girl whom I once knew…

No, whom my former self once knew…

Leaning over the limp body of her mother, of the wife of the savior of earth. And suddenly I laugh. A sick, jerky laugh. He has gotten what he wanted. The demon that is haunting me, he knew my kind would be the night's savior or its destruction.

_I've been watching, I've been waiting  
In the shadows for my time_

__

And so I watch. Impossibly hidden from his eyes as he charges into the street. It's almost empty now, spectators had chosen to run long ago. They'd rather save themselves and their families then help one of the city heroes. Because she can look out for herself can't she?

So much for the cause, Gohan!

So much for all you fought for, all you sacrificed. And now you scream as you find her. You drown out the sound of your daughter's tears. For everything I have done, all I have loved I would give them up to bring her back, undo what I have done. But it seems my body is no longer mine. His control is almost complete. It is only that saiyan strength of mind, which save your child.

I could show myself. Let you find a way to send me from this place. Yet it isn't time. The demon still walks.

_I've been searching, I've been living  
For tomorrows all my life_

__

Perhaps tomorrow. He will be defeated tomorrow and I will be able to rest. Without his grip on my body I will be able to regain control. Won't I?

I will be able to undo all I have done.

But it won't tell me. My saiyan mind, what's left of it. It won't tell me how to defeat him.

'Gain Strength!'

Gain strength it says. Yet the only way in which I can gain strength is to take the power of another. And I can't do that again; my mind is slowly dying with each life I take. So I search, I watch. There will be a moment in, which I can take my freedom.

_They say that I must learn to kill before I can feel safe_

__

When I think of it, it is not truly I who that is taking the life. If that was so why is the Demon's dog glaring at me now. I open my eyes, bring my consciousness back to the surface to find the results of my withdrawal. The results of the Demon's control. The warm liquid horrifyingly satisfying upon my lips, as the tall figure begins to lecture.

I can vaguely understand his words, my eyes are drawn to the limp body over my legs.

I can hear him tell me I must kill for myself. That the master will not take control every time, that he knows I withdraw. He can see my eyes glaze over as I refuse to comply.

_But I, I'd rather kill myself than turn into their slave_

__

Oh, I would die before letting myself willingly follow him. But that may never happen will it?

I know my grip on my mind is slipping, what little hold I had on my body has disappeared. That little control I had which saved that young girl. There is no way I could die by my hand now, is there?

Why won't he answer me?

His voice echoes through my mind every second of everyday. But he won't answer me.

_Sometimes I feel that I should go and play with the thunder  
Somehow I just don't wanna stay and wait for a wonder_

__

I am too late.

I want to end it. I want to take up the cross but my will is fading. There is no need to resist anymore; following him is the right way…

My turmoiled scream pierces the air as I realise he is changing my nature. Changing the very reason I had for living. It is only a matter of time before I bow to his every whim and desire. Only a matter of time until his spell has succeeded.

Why don't you save me, Father?

_I've been watching, I've been waiting  
In the shadows for my time  
I've been searching, I've been living  
For tomorrows all my life_

__

The rose on her grave is as red as the blood, which came from her skin and I watch as the savior rises. Are those tears streaking down your face, Gohan? Or is it just the midnight rain?

You know I have been waiting for you. It seems you are the only one who has even the courage, the mind to know what it is that must be done. Everyone else cries, shake their heads, makes excuses. But there is no other way. Maybe tomorrow all will be well again. Everything's always better in the morning…

When the sun rises…

_Lately, I've been walking, walking in circles  
Watching, waiting for something_

__

I can see the stake in your hand. Your fist is so tight, that the wood has begun to splinter and your eyes give away your decision.

The demon's voice booms through my mind, as strong as ever. And for the first time it sounds panicked, desperate. Am I close? But I have to wait, just a few seconds longer and it will all be over.

_Feel me, touch me, heal me  
Come take me higher_

__

I was the son of a Saiyan prince. I am royalty. Is that why I'm laughing as I defend myself. Is it so ironic that a prince should refuse to die in order to save his people?

Save his people from himself.

Your stake grazed my skin savior. But that's not close enough,

"You're losing your touch. Perhaps you're not who I thought you were"

My voice is rough as I provoke him, urge him on.

"Oh, that's right. You couldn't save her could you? You have lost your touch"

_I've been watching, I've been waiting  
In the shadows for my time  
I've been searching, I've been living  
For tomorrows all my life_

__

But you face didn't express the anger I expected. Your eyes glaze and is that apology I see in your expression? Or is it worry, sadness? You did rush me and I took all the control I had left to ignore my master. I stood my ground. 

This is what I have been waiting for all these weeks. Ever since he appeared in my dreams, my nightmares. You didn't think that by killing that woman on your instructions you would be ensuring the destruction of your prised possession did you Vampire?

_I've been watching,  
I've been waiting,  
I've been searching,  
I've been living,  
for tomorrows...._

__

But why didn't your stake reach my heart. Why didn't it pierce my flesh? It could have ended it all and you wouldn't have to think of me anymore. I'm still living. I still have to suffer and I have lost what was left of my strength.

You don't know what you've done!

It was supposed to end here, tonight. Why did you stop him? You were my best friend, a part of me and still you don't under stand.

_In the shadows...._

__

"Go…Goten…" My voice is but a whisper but you can still hear it. You can still hear pleading my last words before I am dragged away.

_In the shadows....._

__

Your figure fades as I move into the shadows, pulled forcefully by the demon's dog. You could have dealt a blow to your enemy tonight but you cannot pass your emotions. That was always your downfall, Goten.

If you hesitate next time he will kill you.

And I will be there to see it.

At least you will not be here to witness the suffering.

_I've been waiting............._


End file.
